They say time flies... well, they weren't kidding.

Alec is at a buddies' house tonight, and I'm home, surfing the internet for bridesmaid gift ideas :o) We're getting close! My god, 6 weeks! I have no idea how it got here so fast... It seems like only a couple months past, I was nervously telling everyone Alec proposed :o) Holy shit, that was 13 months ago O.O!

It's been a blur, and it hasn't stopped yet. I have a feeling that the next few weeks will be faster than anything I've experienced yet. I'm not ready yet.. *shakes her head* I'm not sure how I'll get it all done. We still haven't planned our honeymoon! Jesus Christ, it's almost as if we're in denial that the whole thing is happening. We've been planning it, making decisions, making the payments, details, details, details. But, it's almost as if we're planning it for another couple, one we just happen to know really well.

I think if I had the two weeks off before the wedding, I'd be ok. I think if I had a stretch of DAYS to get things done, not evenings, or every other weekend. I need time to get my wedding chores done. I have shopping to do! Shoes, earrings, jewelry for my girls, lingerie, honeymoon clothes, shopping for a honeymoon! Presents for the wedding party, and tuxes to finish getting sized. Then there's still the wedding favors to finish, ribbons to be tied, guest book and cake server to be chosen. Pictures to pick, scan, deliver to the DJ, and songs to narrow down. Lord only knows what I am forgetting. How on earth can I get this all done?

My brain is gone. I know that much. It's been replaced with this numb thing, that forgets absolutely everything. I feel like the real me is in stasis, and is waiting for the chaos to go away.

*takes a deep breath*